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"The things we want are really the times we share."

~ Rob Hueniken

From the category archives:

Article

Very Important People – Redefining the VIP

by Rob Hueniken on Thursday, March 8, 2012

The classic definition of a VIP is a Very Important Person. It is someone whose stature is above the regular person. They are respected, they are recognized as special, and they are given accolades and preferential treatment.

We tend to think of VIPs as movie stars, famous musicians and rich people. We're shown these famous people every day on TV and the web. The media holds them up for us to admire, suggesting repeatedly that they are special, intriguing and worth paying attention to.

VIPs have things we'd like to have, and go places we'd like to go. They get VIP treatment — special courtesies and perks that only a few could ever experience, and that makes sense. Fancy cars, permanently reserved tables and famous companions take a lot of money, time and effort to arrange. So only the VIPs can get those things — those expensive, rare things.

VIPs are almost always separated from regular folks. They might pass briefly through the crowd, maybe walk a red carpet, but often they are given preferential and private access to the restaurants, clubs and offices that they visit. They demand, and are granted, a private space to do their VIP stuff.

Our entertainment-focused society puts the spotlight on three things that make a person important: wealth, beauty and their ability to entertain us. While there sometimes seems to be more than enought VIPs, by focusing on just these three things we greatly reduce the number of VIPs that can actually exist.

If you were to ask your friends who they'd expect to see in a VIP lounge, they're unlikely to say "my mother", "that nurse at the clinic" or "the guy at work who helped me yesterday." That's because VIPs can't be regular folks, can they?. They have to be famous, don't they? Isn't that part of the definition of a "Very Important Person".

Well, you know, now that I actually read the words, "very important person", it sounds pretty clear. It's someone who's important, to someone.

So people could be important in ways beyond wealth, beauty and entertainment value. In fact, when it comes to what's really important to most people, it would include a wide array of uplifting characteristics and life skills, such as being:

  • Compassionate
  • Patient
  • Community minded
  • Empathetic
  • Dependable
  • Generous
  • Encouraging

Putting it this way, someone's Mom could be a VIP, and so could a nurse and a guy at work.

We'd just have to decide that we're going to share our personal VIPs, and acknowledge that they are indeed important people.

But if more (and different) people became VIPs then how would we keep track of them? Would the paparazzi be able to keep up with them; would we need to train more paparazzi? [Editor's note: check if paparazzi are actually trained.]

Or maybe these new VIPs wouldn't need to become famous in the same way. Maybe our new VIPs wouldn't want to sneak into hotels by a side door. Maybe, with VIPs being part of our every day life, we'd expect to see VIPs wherever we went. We'd tune our VIP radar to a better, more personal level. We'd listen for the respectful voice of our companions as they talked about a VIP in their life, and we'd notice the loving looks that people give to those they respect.

We'd start appreciating just how many VIPs there are in each of our lives, and truly understand what it really means to be important to others — not for being wealthy, not for being beautiful, and not for just being entertaining.

When we walk down the street we'll be meeting many amazing and influential people. We'll share their stories, attitudes and wisdom with our friends and family, and incorporate and reflect their strengths in our lives.

In a world where VIP is redefined we'll find ourselves surrounded and enriched by people who understand the value of kindness and sharing. 

That is the world that I want to live in.

As for famous people, who under the old definition were automatically VIPs, there could be a more accurate acronym: like VFP: Very Famous Person. Some famous people will actually be VIPs, and certainly many famous people are leaders in helping those less fortunate. Some folks, who are less enamoured of the influential entertainment industry, might watch TV and say to their friends: "That VFP can really act. I hope they're actually a VIP too !"  Staying optimistic is important!

And since rich people like to have a lot of stuff, they could also have their own acronym: VRP: Very Rich People. For the top, top level of rich people, perhaps just the top 1% of them — who are very enthusiastic about money — they could also be worthy of a deluxe acronym: VERP: Very Enthusiastically Rich People. VRPs will have to try extremely hard to become one of the new VIPs, since being generous and community-minded is not often their strong suit. They might have to shed some extra layers of money and self-focus to do it, to "slim down" and "share the joy". It could be tough for VRPs to become VIPs, so we really need to encourage them. Here's hoping!

We've been frugal in acknowledging and celebrating our real VIPs for a long time. Let's change that, and start telling each other about the very important people in our lives.

[Return to the home page of MakingMoreOfToday.com.]

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Building together again

by Rob Hueniken on Thursday, January 26, 2012

While there are times for being alone, the true state of people is in community, doing things. From humankind's earliest days around the fire, we have continued to benefit from the joys and strengths of being and building together.

Listen to the CBC Ideas
show, Left Behind.

While we all need close friends and cohesive project teams, we also need perspective, diversity and resources to succeed. Spending too much time with just one group stifles both us and the group. Taken far enough, we can come to believe that our group is the only one with merit and the right thinking.

One of the danger signs for a group, and for society, is when some members become very successful or wealthy, and begin to withdraw from the wider community — limiting access to their skills and removing the shared assets that the group provided. This is at the crux of both the Occupy movement and the global difficulties we are experiencing today.

In the post-war economic boom of the 1940s to 1960s, there was widespread and eager participation by many types of people — sharing the possibilities and empowerment that working together brings. It was a time of immense productivity. There was not just economic growth, but the actual improvement of people's lives. Working folks worked hard, creative people designed new things, and rich people contributed through taxes, networking and building. It was a great era of shared efforts and benefits, involving a group that was wonderfully large and inclusive.

Unfortunately, the rise of the stock market and the allure of a free market ended these shared efforts and benefits. It became possible for wealthy people to become wealthier, this time without sharing the benefits. The reduction in taxes for the wealthy in recent years has further split our formerly cooperative country — it has dried up the funds needed for new improvement and research, and made it extremely difficult for the wealthy to care about or be committed to the wider community. Working folks, enthused at first by the post-war improvements, and now just fearful for their livelihoods, have been cast adrift from the shared participation of those with the money to change the world again.

We have become a society of "us and them", principally due to greed and fear no longer being balanced by shared purpose and community. With special financial mechanisms now solidly in place, the wealthy have lost the need to participate in the greater community. There's been a world-wide disconnect in the money stream, isolating the workers from the investors.

And that is sad. Because while it's probably great to have fancy food every day and to jet about, I think that the people who worked together in the post-war period had a better life. They had shared goals and exciting dreams, and they knew that their efforts were helping more than just themselves. They understood the joy of moving forward together. Today's wealthy people seem to have forgotten how invigorating and worthwhile good projects are, and no longer recognize how financial growth isn't the same as improving lives locally, nationally and around the globe.

A few of the wealthy and powerful recognize the need for a change. At the recent Davos World Economic Forum conference, the CEO of accounting giant Deloitte, Joe Echevarria, talked about developing "compassionate capitalism." Similarly, Irish billionaire Denis O’Brien says “Corporations need to engage in giving a chunk of their profits to social issues." So there is a seed of awareness about the growing inequality.

Much of the world's wealth is unused, shuffling around in virtual piles, as wealthy people wait for something good that they can invest in and be part of.

But actually, those opportunities are here already — in every corner of our world — ready to be invested in again. The opportunities are here — embodied by the universal understanding that people shouldn't be hungry, sick or denied the dignity of good work when there is more than enough of everything — we are stuck en route to a better future.

There are calls to create a new model for the future, but maybe what's needed is for us to return to the sensible ways that have helped us before — with taxes, benefits and a shared commitment for all.

Let's remember what real community is, how fulfilling our roles with courage brings dignity, and embrace the joy of building things again, together.

[Return to the home page of MakingMoreOfToday.com.]

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A new way of helping

by Rob Hueniken on Friday, January 20, 2012

There is a movement afoot that is taking a look at how charity and aid might be done better at both the local and global levels. It is based on the 2009 book, "When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself", by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert.

 

 

The authors claim that the causes of poverty are often not truly understood, which routinely results in aid strategies that actually harm both poor people and the helpers themselves. Now, two years after the book's release, author Steve Corbett is on a speaking tour, presenting new ideas for helping the materially poor.

The suitably-named "Helping without Hurting" conference recently pulled into London, Ontario, and it attracted even more people than the organizers expected, showing great interest in this area for both secular and faith-based organizations.

At the heart of Corbett’s message is the need to:

  • move more quickly from relief efforts to development efforts
  • investigate what is truly needed by the people (rather than assuming we know what they need), and
  • ensure that the people being helped are active participants in moving forward. As Corbett said: “Development isn't done to people or for people but with people.

Corbett gave the example of the ongoing problems in Haiti, where he feels that relief money poured in for too long. Instead of using a work-for-benefit strategy, everything was given away for free (a very common strategy), which resulted in their local employers and food merchants going out of business. By ignoring the valuable human assets already there, the generous but misdirected aid funds actually deepened the poverty in Haiti!

In the past two years Corbett and his team has been busy, working with the Chalmers Center for Economic Development. On this site you can find freely usable new strategies for helping the materially poor.

A key element of an improved aid strategy is to recognize the importance of having helpers willing to walk together with the people in need — a process that takes time, listening and compassion. In an age where we often think that money will fix the problem, it turns out that really knowing and caring about people (and their dignity) is even more vital.

One of the groups partnering in this movement is
Churches Together London
, a group that I am a member of. Started in 2010, this group is a learning and support group for people looking to connect and move forward to help in their neighbourhoods.

Click here to see more photos and notes from the conference.

[Return to the home page of MakingMoreOfToday.com.]

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The Gift of Caring

by Rob Hueniken on Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas time is a special time of the year, regardless of one's faith. It provides a time to remember people we care about, to travel to see family and friends, and to pause and reflect on years old and new.

There are endless variations on gifts to buy, and it's easy to be sold on buying more. But I don't think we need to.

There is no gift better than a heartfelt hug, and no words are sweeter to hear than "I love you." When you stand by someone through the tough times, you bring them encouragement and strength. When you say "I'm sorry" you wash away distance and pain. When you smile and thank people in your life, be they a friend or a service provider, you create community.

When people stand together they see the common goals we all share: peace, love, health and joy.

Here's to standing by each other, and caring more each day.

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Occupy a Better Future

December 4, 2011

We are all part of our society – benefitting and struggling within the system we share. We might think of ourselves as isolated from the rest of the world, but our lives are entwined – connected to the world through our supply chain of food and materials, and to people around the world through our relationships and shared goals. As powerful and important as any one person might be, they are supported by the efforts of others. As humble and unknown as any of us might feel, we live together within the world, and our existence affects the world. No [...]

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Don’t Forget About the Price Tag

September 10, 2011

In her cheerful yet poignant song, Price Tag, Jessie J helps shine some light on our society's obsession with money. In an age of endless encouragement to buy things, it is refreshing to hear a musical artist reminding us there are simpler, priceless aspects of life. Teaming up with American rapper B.o.B. and producer Dr Luke, Jessie J sings about the importance of truth, music and life. Some of Jessie J's understanding comes from her own life, being diagnosed with a heart defect at the age of 11 and suffering a stroke at 18. She's experienced earlier than most the [...]

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Willpower – It’s about starting not finishing

July 23, 2011

The concept of willpower shows up when we become aware that our actions are under our own control. As small children we spend a lot of time playing and eating, with small interruptions for mandatory activities like bathing and sleeping. As we grow, we have additional duties, including helping at home, grooming ourselves, and going to school. Life becomes a daily rebalancing of things we want to do, have to do, and actually do. As we develop our own skills and goals, and take on responsibility for our own lives, the importance of willpower becomes clear. Each of us has [...]

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Nickel and Diming our Lives

June 27, 2011

We're a society that explores things — that tries things out. Some things cost a lot, some things are cheap, and some things seem to be free. Tucked into many of the things we use and buy are transaction costs — hidden costs that are added on. Whether it's putting gas in the car (which results in taxes and pollution) or using a credit card (higher prices and interest fees), there are extra costs to our choices. Even surfing the Internet has costs, though most of them are hidden — tracking-cookies let corporations remember our choices, credit cards are stolen, [...]

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Seeing the Good in it

May 3, 2011

I was with friends last night, and we heard a strange popping sound in the kitchen. We looked up, wondered, then continued talking. Another popping sound had us suggesting that the ice maker might be dropping ice cubes on the ground. But when two more quick pops occured our host headed to the kitchen and looked around. There in the freezer were the shattered remains of Perrier water bottles, placed there for rapid cooling by our thoughtful, if not time-conscious, host. As we gathered around the fridge to marvel at the sheer number of shards, I remarked: "The green glass [...]

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The Bakery of Life and Love

April 23, 2011

I came upon some images of heart-shaped cookies and a cookie-cutter image of a person with outstretched arms. It reminds me that even though each of us is unique – with our own decisions and life journey – that we value the same good and basic ingredients: love, peace, freedom, harmony, joy, music and community. And if you look past the fancy icing, sprinkles and the box we're in right now we are all humble, shortbread cookies. While some people are in a happy place right now, many more are not. When you look at the cookie with the outstretched [...]

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