While there are times for being alone, the true state of people is in community, doing things. From humankind's earliest days around the fire, we have continued to benefit from the joys and strengths of being and building together.

Listen to the CBC Ideas show, Left Behind.

While we all need close friends and cohesive project teams, we also need perspective, diversity and resources to succeed. Spending too much time with just one group stifles both us and the group. Taken far enough, we can come to believe that our group is the only one with merit and the right thinking.

One of the danger signs for a group, and for society, is when some members become very successful or wealthy, and begin to withdraw from the wider community — limiting access to their skills and removing the shared assets that the group provided. This is at the crux of both the Occupy movement and the global difficulties we are experiencing today.

In the post-war economic boom of the 1940s to 1960s, there was widespread and eager participation by many types of people — sharing the possibilities and empowerment that working together brings. There was not just economic growth, but the actual improvement of people's lives. Working folks worked hard, creative people designed new things, and rich people contributed through taxes, networking and building. It was a great era of shared efforts and benefits, involving a group that was wonderfully large and inclusive.

Unfortunately, the rise of the stock market and the allure of a free market ended these shared efforts and benefits. It became possible for wealthy people to become wealthier, this time without sharing the benefits. The reduction in taxes for the wealthy in recent years has further split our formerly cooperative country — it has dried up the funds needed for new improvement and research, and made it extremely difficult for the wealthy to care about or be committed to the wider community. Working folks, enthused at first by the post-war improvements, and now just fearful for their livelihoods, have been cast adrift from the shared participation of those with the money to change the world again.

We have become a society of "us and them", principally due to greed and fear no longer being balanced by shared purpose and community. With special financial mechanisms now solidly in place, the wealthy have lost the need to participate in the greater community. There's been a world-wide disconnect in the money stream, isolating the workers from the investors.

And that is sad. Because while it's probably great to have fancy food every day and to jet about, I think that the people who worked together in the post-war period had a better life. They had shared goals and exciting dreams, and they knew that their efforts were helping more than just themselves. They understood the joy of moving forward together. Today's wealthy people seem to have forgotten how invigorating and worthwhile good projects are, and no longer recognize how financial growth isn't the same as improving lives locally, nationally and around the globe.

A few of the wealthy and powerful recognize the need for a change. At the recent Davos World Economic Forum conference, the CEO of accounting giant Deloitte, Joe Echevarria, talked about developing "compassionate capitalism." Similarly, Irish billionaire Denis O’Brien says “Corporations need to engage in giving a chunk of their profits to social issues." So there is a seed of awareness about the growing inequality.

Much of the world's wealth is unused, shuffling around in virtual piles, as wealthy people wait for something good that they can invest in and be part of.

But actually, those opportunities are here already — in every corner of our world — ready to be invested in again. The opportunities are here — embodied by the universal understanding that people shouldn't be hungry, sick or denied the dignity of good work when there is more than enough of everything — we are stuck en route to a better future.

There are calls to create a new model for the future, but maybe what's needed is for us to return to the sensible ways that have helped us before — with taxes, benefits and a shared commitment for all.

Let's remember what real community is, how fulfilling our roles with courage brings dignity, and embrace the joy of building things again, together.

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There is a movement afoot that is taking a look at how charity and aid might be done better at both the local and global levels. It is based on the 2009 book, "When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself", by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert.

The authors claim that the causes of poverty are often not truly understood, which routinely results in aid strategies that actually harm both poor people and the helpers themselves. Now, two years after the book's release, author Steve Corbett is on a speaking tour, presenting new ideas for helping the materially poor.

The suitably-named "Helping without Hurting" conference recently pulled into London, Ontario, and it attracted even more people than the organizers expected, showing great interest in this area for both secular and faith-based organizations.

At the heart of Corbett’s message is the need to:

• move more quickly from relief efforts to development efforts
• investigate what is truly needed by the people (rather than assuming we know what they need), and
• ensure that the people being helped are active participants in moving forward. As Corbett said: “Development isn't done to people or for people but with people.”

Corbett gave the example of the ongoing problems in Haiti, where he feels that relief money poured in for too long. Instead of using a work-for-benefit strategy, everything was given away for free (a very common strategy), which resulted in their local employers and food merchants going out of business. By ignoring the valuable human assets already there, the generous but misdirected aid funds actually deepened the poverty in Haiti!

In the past two years Corbett and his team has been busy, working with the Chalmers Center for Economic Development. On this site you can find freely usable new strategies for helping the materially poor.

A key element of an improved aid strategy is to recognize the importance of having helpers willing to walk together with the people in need — a process that takes time, listening and compassion. In an age where we often think that money will fix the problem, it turns out that really knowing and caring about people (and their dignity) is even more vital.

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Christmas time is a special time of the year, regardless of one's faith. It provides a time to remember people we care about, to travel to see family and friends, and to pause and reflect on years old and new.

There are endless variations on gifts to buy, and it's easy to be sold on buying more. But I don't think we need to.

There is no gift better than a heartfelt hug, and no words are sweeter to hear than "I love you." When you stand by someone through the tough times, you bring them encouragement and strength. When you say "I'm sorry" you wash away distance and pain. When you smile and thank people in your life, be they a friend or a service provider, you create community.

When people stand together they see the common goals we all share: peace, love, health and joy.

Here's to standing by each other, and caring more each day.

We are all part of our society – benefitting and struggling within the system we share. We might think of ourselves as isolated from the rest of the world, but our lives are entwined – connected to the world through our supply chain of food and materials, and to people around the world through our relationships and shared goals.

As powerful and important as any one person might be, they are supported by the efforts of others.

As humble and unknown as any of us might feel, we live together within the world, and our existence affects the world.

No matter where we are now, no matter what we or others know of our real potential, we all want a better future, and can help to create a better future – for ourselves, for our family, for our friends, for our community, and for our world.

A future where:

- We can each use our real skills and abilities, which might be different from those we use to live right now.
- There is a role for each of us that is valued and appreciated.
- There are more smiles and hugs.
- Everyone is safe, fed, clothed and healthy.
- Caring is recognized as both vital and possible, because we work on things we care about, with and for people we care about.
- Happiness is not marketed as being dependent on money or stuff.
- We can afford to be less greedy because we have things that mean more to us than stuff and money.
- There is more fun, more music and more treasured moments.
- We feel hope and optimism, because good things are happening around us and include us.
- We rediscover, every day, that people matter most, and we are included.

There are many bubbles of awareness popping up in our society. People are becoming dissatisfied by the short-term happiness of owning more stuff, and disillusioned by frequent economic problems. People who want to work can't find jobs, and people see important things – like freedom and a healthy planet – being disrespected and abused. Generations of people have been cajoled and bullied into thinking that our current type of economy and life style is the only possible way, and it's wearing down hard-working, good-hearted folks.

It's not just the Occupy movement that is expressing this – there are discussions within companies and coffee shops, at the kitchen table and amongst friends. Entire countries are being pushed past their financial abilities and reaching economic meltdown. People are questioning what is going on in their lives and in our world. It's a wide-spread feeling of yearning and discontent that flat screen TVs and shopping can no longer suppress.

No-one knows quite what to do about it. Yet. And that's okay.

Some of the best things take the longest, and take the greatest number of people to make it happen. There are a lot of people who want things to be better, who are starting to see the possibilities of a better future, and who recognize the power of being kind and trying hard. Like bubbles in water they are rising and merging to bring a breath of fresh air and hope.

There might be a lot of things to set right in our world, but there are a lot of people to get things done. Big changes can happen when many people make small changes – changes that actually make our lives better – that benefit everyone, even people who currently think that money is the key to happiness.

We can do it, together. Bubble by bubble.

Keep reminding yourself (and those around you) that happiness is not based on what money can buy for us, but on what our lives become when we're focused on sharing community, health, music and peace. Helping others is a great source of joy and progress, so find ways to make a difference in your life and neighborhood.

There is a paradigm shift going on, with changes happening in our attitudes and outlook. It is like when people learned that the Sun is the center of our solar system, not the Earth. Except this time it is people figuring out that people need to be the center of our lives, not money.

You can help change the world, a bit at a time. Start being a bubble of hope and caring. Spread the word: people matter. Let's see how changing things a bit today can help us all occupy a better future.

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I was with friends last night, and we heard a strange popping sound in the kitchen. We looked up, wondered, then continued talking. Another popping sound had us suggesting that the ice maker might be dropping ice cubes on the ground. But when two more quick pops occured our host headed to the kitchen and looked around.

There in the freezer were the shattered remains of Perrier water bottles, placed there for rapid cooling by our thoughtful, if not time-conscious, host.

As we gathered around the fridge to marvel at the sheer number of shards, I remarked: "The green glass will make it easier to find." My friend laughed and said to me: "Rob, leave it to you to find something good about broken glass."

It's a classic case of the glass half empty, half full, or completely shattered. The shattered glass was no longer a bottle, and if considered as a bottle the green shards were useless and dangerous. But in their new identity as shards amidst the frozen carrots their glass was definitely half full – I would much rather pluck green glass from a freezer than colorless, ice-like slivers.

And since there were seven of us together that evening we had efficiently gained some sharp insights into the dangers of rapidly chilling water in glass bottles.

Not every problem has a solution that's as straightforward as cleaning up glass, but many problems can be seen from different perspectives, which bring the scope of the problem into focus, clarify the new situation, and diffuse tension. They also remind us of shared goals, the benefits of teamwork, the joys of friendship, and the good things we often take for granted.

And as with all problem solving, the attitude of those involved can make or break the emotional severity of the situation, which directly effects the safety, thoughtfulness and success of the solutions. It's good to have a calm mind and cool (not frozen) friends in a crisis.

When it comes to trouble, here's to seeing the good in it.

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We see fire hydrants every day, fortunately not often in use. But there they stand, along our route and near our homes — silent, patient reminders of our shared commitment to safety and community.

The fire hydrant, or "fire plug", dates back to the 1600s, when fire crews would prepare a water source by digging deep into the ground to reach the water table. Afterwards, they covered the well with a plug, so that they were ready. When a fire broke out they'd remove the fire plug and use a bucket brigade — a human chain — to move the water to where it was needed.

Fire hydrants are a great example of how previous problems can lead to not only solutions but commitment to our shared success. While no-one wants to experience such trouble up close, knowing that there is a chance for relief and support can give us all confidence and security.

Recently I saw a truck with two new fire hydrants, on their way to being installed. Like much of the infrastructure we depend on, including our electrical supply, the strength of fire hydrants is hidden — supporting what is visible — built on the endless river of human experience, ingenuity and compassion.

While each of us has our own walk in life, it is good to know that our families, friends and community are there to help. We are each other's bucket brigade. We are the strength around us.

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There is a growing and excellent trend moving through our society: honoring our friends and family with special gifts for their birthday and on holidays. While there are still times when people need a new iPod, TV, or other gizmo, a lot of people already have a lot of things, and enjoy going out themselves and buying the particular model they want.

And while there are no shortages of sweet things and entertaining things we can buy for people we love, there is also no shortage of people in our world who really need our help, be it clothes, food, shelter, medicine or a micro-loan to start up a business.

One of the first organizations to realize how great we feel when we help others is World Vision. Their catalog includes the things that poor and starving third-world people really need, including goats, ducks, medicine and mosquito nets. And while we and our friends are unlikely to want a goat for ourselves (they're a bit noisy and tend to eat clothing while riding the elevator) I guarantee two things:

1) There are definitely people in the world who would love to own a goat, so that they can have milk for their family.

2) When you give your friend a print-out about a family that is thrilled to have that goat (and maybe suggest that goat might be named after them) they are going to laugh and appreciate what a cool and generous thing the two of you have done for our world – turning our good fortune and celebration into something important that we can share.

And since giving a goat to someone is a good idea, organizations like World Vision have already figured out who needs the goats. You don't have to wander around, asking people if they'd like a goat or a chicken — you just pay for the animal or medicine or shelter, and let them figure out how to get it to the right person.

You can find all sorts of alternative gift ideas
by searching the web for:

alternative gifts

Here are just a few of the many ways to give
alternative gifts:

Alternative Gifts International

Doctors Without Borders

Provide clean water

Plant a tree and encourage others

Mercy Corps: Gifts that change lives

Make a micro-loan to help someone start a business

World Vision: give a goat

Mission Services: A local Community-focused relief organization

The Salvation Army – helping the homeless

Adopt some wildlife

When it's time to honor a friend or family member this year, honor them with a gift you'll both remember and be proud of.

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As the 2010 Winter Olympics come to a close, wonderful memories and a sense of encouragement remain from our shared experience of Vancouver and Whistler, BC.  Athletes and administrators, volunteers and fans, families and global friends — we all came together to honour excellence and commitment.

While I enjoyed the excitement of the competitions, it was the determined spirit of the people that brought joy to my heart. While even the best teams come and go, the most beautiful and steadfast human traits remain: compassion and community.

When I see people trying hard to do something good together I feel true joy. I know that joy is shared with many, including Joyce Hunnam, a Scottish woman who has volunteered at 6 Olympics, and who is pictured with the flame above.

Photo by Dave Chidley

There are many images and moments in each Olympics, but none as primal and symbolic as the Olympic flame. From humankind’s earliest days, fire has been a symbol of our ability to tame enough of nature to help us survive. The Olympic torch, topped with flame and carried with pride by a legion of runners, represents our shared determination to overcome obstacles, weather and geographic barriers — to share the good news of global fellowship and good will.

Photo by 2010 Olympic Volunteer

Designed by the famed Canadian company, Bombardier (of Ski-Doo fame), the Olympic torch was passed from hand to hand across the country, traveling 45,000 kilometers through snow, rain, hail, wind and sub-zero temperatures.

A combination of engineering, organizing and human spirit, the carrying of the Olympic torch is one of my favourite human endeavors – working together and celebrating great achievements and community.

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At the core of our lives are two powerful traits: responsibility and compassion. While they sound like lofty ideals, responsibility and compassion are actually life’s calls to action, built into each of us. We know there are things we should do, and we know when we should be helpful and sensitive to others.  Knowing these things doesn’t make us responsible and compassionate — it is acting on these feelings by participating.

When we are young, most things are done for us. Mothers, fathers and caregivers watch over us, and try to give us what we need — both physically and emotionally.

As we get older, we learn skills and develop an understanding of the needs and emotions of both ourselves and others. Life prepares us, step by step, to move beyond receiving to giving and doing.

By the time we are teens we understand the power of action, and experience the sometimes unsettling shift to our own vital role in making things work out. We become aware that there are things to do, and feelings beyond our own that are worthy of care and consideration.

While each of us needs times of rest and self-focus, being active and involved provides satisfaction and a joy of life that is felt on many levels.

As any elderly person with arthritis will tell you, there is a joy to being able to use our hands. Our bodies and minds like to do things, and there can be pleasure in simple chores — even washing the dishes or taking out the garbage. Human hands are wonderful creations, and using them to help ourselves and others is not just their essential purpose — it physically feels good!

Responsibility and compassion are essential for all successful relationships. We live in community, and though each of us needs our private time, being involved with others is a big part of our lives. When we make the shared parts of our lives better we all benefit. The key word here is “better”, and as anyone will tell you, “better” doesn’t happen on its own — making things better takes action; it takes effort.

There is a special, intense feeling of joy when we bring a smile to others. Some of the best smiles result from sharing a moment of appreciation, celebrating our shared efforts.  It is a smile that says “We are doing this together“.

When times are tough, knowing that someone cares brings strength and hope, but when someone takes action we see our situation improving, and that is a powerful inspiration for people.  Seeing progress — even a slow, small bit — can be like a train starting to move out of the station. It is exciting even if it is mundane, because action moves us forward.

Each of us has personal goals, and knows how good it feels to have something we care about work out. The same positive feelings are experienced for the goals we help others with. In fact, helping others can feel even better than helping yourself.

While ideas and knowledge are good things, it is the doing of things that makes life good.

There is a happy middle ground between exhaustion and idleness, and between servitude and insensitivity — it is being responsible and compassionate.

When we share in what needs to be done — helping each other, and being sensitive to each other’s feelings — we can get the right things done. We can help things work out.

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Stepping into my father’s workshop always takes me back in time. Not only are my parents collectors of memorabilia, but they continue to make good use of the things they already have. So when I look around my father’s garage I see tools that have existed since I was a boy, including a vice, a band saw, and various ancient screw drivers.

While my mother prepared our lunch, my father showed me his latest project – to add a second door to the front hallway, to keep the cold air out, but with a window to keep the light flowing in. Their front door already has a window in it, so a second door with a window would let my parents keep the natural light.

Being a resourceful person, my Dad took an unused door, removed a wooden panel, and was busy inserting a Plexiglas window into its heart. It was at this stage of the project that I arrived – to help my Dad nail in the Plexiglas.

As he prepared to starting hammering, a big smile came to my face – he was using the same finishing hammer that I had used as a boy. It was a bit more worn now, but it was still the same light-weight hammer I had used, before I was strong enough to use a regular hammer.  But in my Dad’s case, he knew that this job required a finishing hammer, so that is what he was using.

My role turned out to be supplying my father with one inch finishing nails, one at a time, while he hammered them carefully into place. He has a steady, practiced hand and not once did he bend a nail or dent the door with an errant hammer blow.

As I watched him working carefully and skillfully, I remembered my own hand on that hammer, and him helping me on projects. To be working together, with the simple job of handing him the next nail, was a sublime and satisfying joy – one that transcended the moment — connecting the two of us through years of building and sharing time together.

One hammer but many moments together – the joy of working side-by-side is not secondary, but the most important product of my father’s hammer.

If you enjoyed this article, please read my poem about cleaning my son’s workshop area.

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