Christmas time is a special time of the year, regardless of one's faith. It provides a time to remember people we care about, to travel to see family and friends, and to pause and reflect on years old and new.

There are endless variations on gifts to buy, and it's easy to be sold on buying more. But I don't think we need to.

There is no gift better than a heartfelt hug, and no words are sweeter to hear than "I love you." When you stand by someone through the tough times, you bring them encouragement and strength. When you say "I'm sorry" you wash away distance and pain. When you smile and thank people in your life, be they a friend or a service provider, you create community.

When people stand together they see the common goals we all share: peace, love, health and joy.

Here's to standing by each other, and caring more each day.

In her cheerful yet poignant song, Price Tag, Jessie J helps shine some light on our society's obsession with money. In an age of endless encouragement to buy things, it is refreshing to hear a musical artist reminding us there are simpler, priceless aspects of life.

Teaming up with American rapper B.o.B. and producer Dr Luke, Jessie J sings about the importance of truth, music and life.

Some of Jessie J's understanding comes from her own life, being diagnosed with a heart defect at the age of 11 and suffering a stroke at 18. She's experienced earlier than most the "life-is-hard" lesson, and uses that to help us do our own exploring about what is really important in life – about things more priceless than money.

[Here's an alternate video of Price Tag on YouTube by Trojan Lazo, with some good interpretive images.]

While her lyrics "It's not about the money / Forget about the price tag" are powerful, they are perfect dark mirrors of what we really need to keep in mind:

1) That for almost everyone in western culture, too much of life *is* about money, stuff, and our own needs, and
2) We need to see the bigger, long-range price tag of our excessive consumerism, including:

• Unmanageable personal, business and national debt, which cause us to pay so much interest that we become long-term prisoners of previous purchases.
• Making decisions in our lives that focus on ourselves rather than others, robbing us of the joys of community, sharing and helping others.
• Polluting our wonderful planet, encouraging companies to make things we don't need, and people discarding useful things just to get a new thing.

Perhaps the most telling lyric of Jessie J's song is the revealing phrase: "Got your shades on your eyes". She's not just talking about expensive sunglasses.

The marketing machine works feverishly, every day, telling us what we "need" – what we should want – and trying to convince us that life just won't be good unless we own whatever thing, goo or food that they want to sell us.  We need to wake up, and be aware of how advertising is working against us.

The truth is that life can be good without a focus on money, and without owning so much stuff. In fact, life has always been better when it is about your friends, your family, and your community – when we've focused on trying hard, being kind, and sharing time.

Please do some thinking about the moments when you are really happy – like when you're sharing a laugh with friends – when you're figuring something out at work – when you've helped someone and they smile in thanks.

And when you stand in the blinding beacon of marketing, and you're being sold false joy – put on your sunglasses – and see through the advertising glare to the costs of caring too much about stuff. Don't forget about the price tag.

Rob Hueniken

"Price Tag"
(By Jessie J, featuring B.o.B)

[Jessie J]
Okay, Coconut man, Moon Heads and pea
You ready

Seems like everybody's got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the sale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop for a minute and
Smile

Why is everybody so serious?
Acting so damn mysterious?
Got your shades on your eyes
And your heels so high
That you can't even have a good time

[Pre-chorus:]
Everybody look to their left (yeah)
Everybody look to their right (uh)
Can you feel that (yeah)
We're paying with love tonight

[Chorus:]
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the price tag
Ain't about the (uh) Cha-Ching Cha-Ching
Ain't about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the price tag.

[Jessie J]
We need to take it back in time,
When music made us all unite!
And it wasn't low blows and video hoes,
Am I the only one getting tired?

Why is everybody so obsessed?
Money can't buy us happiness
Can we all slow down and enjoy right now
Guarantee we'll be feeling alright

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

[B.o.B]
Yeah yeah
Well, keep the price tag
And take the cash back
Just give me six strings and a half stack
And you can, can keep the cars
Leave me the garage
And all I, yes all I need
Are keys and guitars
And guess what, in 30 seconds
I'm leaving to Mars
Yeah we leaving across
These undefeatable odds
It's like this man
You can't put a price on a life
We do this for the love
So we fight and sacrifice
Every night
So we ain't gonna stumble and fall
Never
Waiting to see a sign of defeat
Uh uh
So we gonna keep everyone
Moving their feet
So bring back the beat
And then everyone sing

It's not about the money

[Chorus 2x]

[Jessie J ‒ Outro]
Yeah yeah
Oh-oh
Forget about the price tag

(Lyrics from azlyrics.com)

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The concept of willpower shows up when we become aware that our actions are under our own control. As small children we spend a lot of time playing and eating, with small interruptions for mandatory activities like bathing and sleeping. As we grow, we have additional duties, including helping at home, grooming ourselves, and going to school. Life becomes a daily rebalancing of things we want to do, have to do, and actually do.

As we develop our own skills and goals, and take on responsibility for our own lives, the importance of willpower becomes clear. Each of us has goals and special projects we'd like to do, and each of us does things we wish we wouldn't.

Studies at Florida State University by Dr. Roy Baumeister, have shown that willpower is not a personality trait or a skill. It's not something you're born with. There are ways for each of us to have more willpower, and to improve our lives.

It turns out that willpower is much more like a muscle – it can get worn down, but it can also be strengthened. Like muscle, willpower is not as strong when you are tired, so getting enough rest is essential and beneficial. It is also good to start on things when you're feeling rested and fed, not at the end of a long day.

And although it can take some willpower to go for a walk or get to the gym, being more fit actually builds our willpower. It's an example of how a bit of willpower can lead to more willpower!

One of the biggest obstacles to "getting things done" is that the mere idea of finishing something can be daunting. We think about something we want to do, such as learning to play guitar, and we think: "That is going to be so much work! It'll take years to get any good at it."

But willpower isn't about getting things done – willpower is about getting something started.

Despite strong advertising like Nike's "Just do it" campaign, many people are not encouraged by the idea of doing something hard, even if it's important to them.

Instead, it is better for us to "get started" on the things we feel are important.

Once we start on an activity, we usually find that:

a) It's not as hard as we thought.
b) We like to learn things and to do things!
c) We can enjoy the process. We can enjoy the moment.
d) We feel good about ourselves.

By just starting on something we want or need to do, we make this moment better, and we make our future better.

Our culture has a lot of distractions. Opportunities to sit around, eat and be entertained are all around us. And the marketing machine is working around the clock to sell you stuff that usually has nothing to do with your personal goals.

While it might seem easier to turn on the TV, go shopping, or play a game, most of these activities don't move you forward on your own personal goals. TV might keep you from being bored, but it can reduce your willpower. It's actually better to be bored, since boredom is a fantastic motivator. Boredom builds willpower!

But it is also important to be kind to yourself when your willpower is low.

Research has found that people who are hard on themselves actually reduce their own willpower, temporarily. They tend to repeat the same pattern of giving up sooner, getting angry at themselves, feeling they can't do it, and settle for a quick and easy treat.

Instead, give yourself a break! If you want a snack before you start on a task, then try that. If something doesn't go well, don't be hard on yourself – try it a different way, try it later, ask for help, or just talk about how you feel with a friend. Don't throw your hands up and say you can't do it, because you know you can – maybe just not at this instant or in this particular way. If you are trying then feel good about that, even if you don't feel you are making progress.

Friends can encourage you, and help get you over the bumps in the road. Life is not something we're supposed to do on our own – we are built for community, and for sharing. Talking with others can give us encouragement, new ideas, and recharge our willpower muscles.

There are things you want to do with your life – things that are important to you.

Your time is here, and it's saying: "It's time to get started!"

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I came upon some images of heart-shaped cookies and a cookie-cutter image of a person with outstretched arms.

It reminds me that even though each of us is unique – with our own decisions and life journey – that we value the same good and basic ingredients: love, peace, freedom, harmony, joy, music and community.

And if you look past the fancy icing, sprinkles and the box we're in right now we are all humble, shortbread cookies.

While some people are in a happy place right now, many more are not. When you look at the cookie with the outstretched arms he is joyful, yet there are others around him, reaching out.

It is my hope that each of us finds new ways to bring joy and relief to people around us – so that, like heart-shaped cookies, we rise higher to fulfill good roles in the bakery of life and love.

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A global music effort is underway by a diverse group of musicians and singers known as Playing For Change. Their videos, available on YouTube, are a wonderful collection of memorable songs played in very personal contributions from locations around the world.

The musicianship is outstanding, and the overall feeling is of shared truths and personal connection. Watching videos such as Redemption Song and Stand by Me made me feel connected and a part of the joy that music and community brings.

The amazing slide guitar work of Roberto Luti and olde tyme stylings of Grandpa Elliott are just a small slice of this delightful collection.

Redemption Song was the first music video I listened to by Playing For Change. I was struck by the careful and elegant combining of each musician, and by the words of Bob Marley's song.

The powerful lyrics can speak to almost everyone in North America and Europe, where instead of a slavery theme, the words can speak to a loss of minds and time to the wheels of commerce.

What will we forward to our next generation? Will it be a further focus on wealth and material goods? Will it be the joys of community, music and shared good works?  How will we redeem our generation and make the world better for the next?

Redemption Song lyrics

Old pirates, yes, they rob I
Sold I to the merchant ships
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit
But my hand was made strong
By the hand of the almighty
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
Have no fear for atomic energy
'Cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look? Ooh
Some say it's just a part of it
We've got to fullfil the book
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our mind
Woh, have no fear for atomic energy
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it
We've got to fullfill the book
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever had
Redemption songs
All I ever had
Redemption songs
These songs of freedom
Songs of freedom

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One of the most important milestones in a person's life is when we learn to walk. This usually happens around 14 months of age (not at "one year" as the round-things-off folks tend to say to worried young Moms). While crawling lets us move around the room a bit, it was only when we started to walk that the doors opened to the horizon and to our futures.

In our earliest days of walking we are always with our parents, as they show us the world nearby. Hand in hand, we are guided in safety. We get to see places that service our family's needs, such as grocery stores and gas stations; and we get to see entertainment venues, such as playgrounds and friend's homes.

But the first time we walk somewhere on our own is the real start of our journey of life. It is exciting! It is eye-opening. It gives us power — to be able to choose where to pause and where to look.

And as each of us learns, walking also requires care. When we walk we are choosing our destination, our direction, and even each step. Each of us has been en route, and wondered if we really should be going there. Each of us has paused en route, to make sure we are on the right road. And each of us has stepped on glass or stumbled on rough ground. Those are moments of being aware — that we are on the move, and needing to take care of ourselves.

Out on life's roads there are many opportunities and pitfalls, encouragements and distractions, friends and villains. We learn, through our own experience and others' good advice, to make progress.

For most of us, life has many journeys — some long and some short. Sometimes we complete them — to fanfare or with personal satisfaction; and sometimes we change our plan, or get forced off the road by events within or beyond our control.

What we learn is that we can't make progress without goals and determination. As Lewis Caroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, said: "If you don't know where you're going then any road will get you there."

It can be hard to know what to do with our lives. There are many choices, and our society douses us with competing demands and noisy voices, from the media and people in our lives. It can often seem easier to go with the crowd's ideas — to follow along. But we are all individuals, and unique, and our path through life must be the one for us.

I remember being in my second year of a Biology program, and all around me were excited students deciding to apply for medical school. It would have been easy for me to get wrapped up in that goal, and for a week or two I considered it. But after thinking about my own feelings of life as a doctor, with its long hours away from my family, I knew that path was not for me.

It was a classic example of the benefit that comes from calm, personal assessment and awareness. It helped me understand that we each need quiet time, to pause and consider.

We also know that life brings new situations, and those can lead to changes in our path and destination. Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a storm, it can be very hard to know where we are, let alone decide if we need to change directions or even start a new journey. This is when it helps to be honest with ourselves, aware of our feelings, and open to good counsel from someone who cares about us deeply.

Life can be better when we have both personal determination and a willingness to share our heart and feelings with trusted companions.

Sometimes we cannot see what others see, because we are wrapped up in our own thoughts, concerns and history. We might see a tangle of trees in our way, while someone else — with a different vantage point — can guide us to the edge of the forest.

Sometimes our path is solid and we need stay on track, while other times — particularly when we are hitting repeated roadblocks — we can help ourselves most by letting a caring person help us — to understand where we are right now, and to see if it's time for new choices.

For those who feel depressed or anxious about how their life is going, I offer two great encouragements:

1) There are people who can and will help you, if you let them. You probably already know who they are.
2) And a quote from the movie, Vanilla Sky: “Every second of your life is another chance to turn it around.”

No matter what mis-steps you've taken in the past, you can move forward with one good step.

As we wind along our crossing paths, the people we meet are all moving through their lives — on their journey to enlightenment and, hopefully, joy.

We are all travelers, moving through life, taking one step at a time.

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Lost in the marketing maelstrom of our culture is an eternal truth: that life is hard and requires us to try hard. 

It doesn't matter how many songs we have on our iPod, how many friends we have on Facebook, or how many dollars we have in the bank — without an understanding of our personal commitment to making things work out it all eventually falls apart. Others can help keep things running for a while, but life requires our own determination and action.

This is not just about a person's career — trying hard is about all aspects of our lives, from jobs to helping others, from relationships to keeping our world safe and healthy.

With so few of us plowing fields or milking cows anymore, the illusion that life is easier now is easy to accept. We have medical facilities, cheap food and lots of fun ways to spend time. Surely that means we can take it easy — just try a bit, sometimes, when we feel like it, or when something is urgent.

This illusion is believed by many people, most of whom never had to milk a cow before dawn, every day, like it or not. In just two generations we have moved from experiencing the hard work of farming to treating food as just another thing we get to enjoy.

In the days of farming, people grew up understanding the direct connection between commitment, action and survival — not just for themselves, but for their family and community.

In an age where there are screens of every size pouring out entertainment, it can be easy to forget the immense web of work that is being done by others, partly on our behalf. We all benefit from the efforts of others, from the time we are babies through adulthood. Everything we have is, in one way or another, related to the efforts of someone else — someone working — someone trying — someone participating — someone sharing.

Both humanity's advancements and daily life are built on our shared efforts, mutual respect, and compassion — and that includes yours.

Most people are, indeed, working hard, and they understand and experience life's struggles every day. Whether through their upbringing, life lessons or circumstances, they know they have to keep at it — and there's no question that life is hard and takes hard work. 

A difficult moment in our lives is when we learn that trying doesn't guarantee success. Sometimes people try something once and fail, never to try it again. Sometimes people are working on things they aren't suited to, hit roadblocks, or have to deal with difficult people. 

There's are lots of reasons why things don't work out the way we imagined, but two things are sure:

- Minimal efforts are almost always unsuccessful.
- For life to become better we need to accept that life is hard and takes hard work.

The good news is when we try hard, we find more often that things work out — often because others see us trying hard and pitch in.

Making things better is something we need to do on our own, and together.
We can't do it all on our own, but each of us must do our part. 

Let's try hard!

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One of the main characteristics of our North American society is its focus on money and entertainment. Everywhere we look there are opportunities and offers of services, goods to buy, and recreation. Advertising blitzes us continuously, mostly portraying smiling, beautiful people sharing a good time and taking possession of something they really want. And if smiling, beautiful people can't sell us something then the marketing machine uses fear to convince us that we are missing out on something important or we're at risk. Either way, we have a society encouraged to want things, and to never be satisfied.

In advertising parlance, it's called "manufacturing desire" — making people want the next cool or interesting or "better" thing.  If someone else has it then we want it.

We have a society encouraged to covet. For those of you wondering where that fits into the traditional Christian play book, that is commandment #10. It's the last commandment on the list, perhaps because 3,000 years ago moral standards were different or there was less opportunity to break this commandment. But there it is, on the list.

In the old days people used the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses". It was seen as a negative thing — a prideful, wasteful thing — to be competing with your neighbor, trying to have the better barbeque or the better car, when you already had something plenty good enough.

Nowadays, keeping up with the Joneses is our assumed way of life, with even kids feeling the pressure to own the "right" jeans or shoes or cell phone.  And for adults, the very personal and destructive coveting of someone else's life partner, aka adultery, continues to be on the rise. If someone else has it then it's okay that we want it, and why shouldn't we get it if we can? (Answer? #10)

Coveting things is entrenched in our way of life. Our manufacturing and entertainment systems depend on it. Even our governments depend on people wanting more, and use people's dissatisfaction against them — running lotteries, betting tracks and casinos to help pull in tax dollars.

So you won't hear the word "covet" spoken these days, even though it's what people are doing. Step by step, marketing pressures have convinced us that it's okay to covet. It's just "good business". And a bit of fun.

Not only does the word "covet" sound old-fashioned, it sounds anti-social to suggest that's what we're being encouraged to do.

The negative side effects of our constant coveting are many and diverse. By focusing mostly on acquiring things we have to work longer and harder to make more money. When we rest we don't pause and enjoy nature — we watch TV and get further promptings to buy things. We accumulate stuff and no longer think about repairing things — we throw stuff away and get a new one. We get something new and soon learn about a newer, better version. We are overworked and unsatisfied with what we already have (which is usually a lot). Our work environments and even our friendships can be challenged by our constant desire for more.

Fortunately, we live in an era where the flash of the new is being questioned by those wanting better use of our global resources and by those who think that a better life may have elements of a simpler life.

The solutions to coveting are to:

- Show restraint (by saying "No, thanks" or "I really don't need that.")
- Recognize how advertising tries to manipulate you ("See that ad? They're showing cool people loving that new phone.")
- Clarify your personal goals ("What do I really want in life?")
- Enjoy and explore the things you already have and the relationships in your life.
- Be happy for others (without wanting what they have), and
- Live within your means (because less stuff means fewer bills and more time to relax and pursue your passions).

In an era of "retro", I encourage you to step back from the spinning wheel of much-ness, and to rediscover the common sense of commandment #10, and the freedom, focus and personal satisfaction that it brings.

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I recently attended a party held outdoors in farming country. Near the road was an old piece of farm machinery, slowly rusting.

I wrote this poem for what is past and unchangeable:

Waiting long:
For men to bind me to their task.
For sun and wind and dirt and grass.
For purposed motion past that tree.
For harvests that are not for me.

As the sun set I was struck with the awareness that each of us has had times of achievements — of getting things done, of doing well — but feel now that time is passing without the arrival of new successes.

Looking at this rusting machine, I realized that I too have rusty parts — signs of wear, not quite as fit, and holding on to old ideas of how things should be done and said.

But looking at this rusting machine, I realized that I am changeable — that my rust is reversable, that I can be renewed.

There are truths of purpose and truths of things worth doing. They all involve people, helping each other to move forward, even if moving forward means to sit and share a smile.

We are not a rusty machine or a tree stuck in the ground. Shake off the rust. Shake off the dust.

Try hard. Be kind. Make more of today, together.

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